New Beginnings

8/20/12
         Today was my first day of classes and nothing has been going as planned which made me second guess my decision. I couldn’t help but think if it is meant to be then why aren’t things working out? Everything seemed to be going wrong and I was feeling so stressed and confused. Well this afternoon as I was driving back to school for the second time today I started thinking, “If tomorrow I found out that my cancer was back I would be wishing something this petty was my only worry.” That was such a reality check! I realized how in the long run I was being so ridiculous and I should be grateful that this minor issue is the only thing I have to “stress” about. It made me feel horrible for letting the little things get the best of me and forgetting how blessed I really am. I had to pray for forgiveness and thank God once again for His mercy, His miracles, and His healing.

8/28/12
       Today was my first day of speech therapy at Gibbs Cancer Center. I left therapy with very mixed emotions. I am very thankful that I have finally healed enough to finally begin therapy and start working towards improving my speech, but on the other hand, therapy was very different than I expected it to be. My therapist is very sweet and encouraging, but the whole experience was a lot to take in. I couldn’t help but think about why I was even there...flashbacks of all I had been through that has led up to this.  Also, the direct concentration on my impaired speech made me sad. Of course it made me feel frustrated, but sad more than anything. There were several times when I felt my eyes well up with tears and I had to fight to keep myself from breaking down and crying. Jenna, she’s NOT that kind of therapist! HA! I just had to remind myself that this was a step in the right direction, soon my voice will be better and it will all be worth it. I also have to keep telling myself that God healed me from cancer and I have faith that He will also restore my speech!

9/9/12

      This morning was my third day of speech therapy and thankfully today was the first time I didn’t find myself getting upset or frustrated. I actually left therapy in a good mood, feeling encouraged and feeling like I was actually making progress. Being able to see (well, hear) the improvements caused by speech therapy is such motivation for me to keep practicing my speech exercises and keep a positive attitude. I am so thankful! Once again the Lord is performing a miracle in my life!