God Is Good

                Since my surgery I have had plenty of time to think, maybe too much time. Before my surgery everything was so rushed. Looking back I feel like I wasn’t thinking that much at all, just going through the motions. But I’m looking at that as a blessing. From day one, if I would have known all I was about to face I don’t know how well I would’ve handled everything. I think that about life too, especially the past year of my life. We have no idea what our lives are going to hold, what is coming next. I think that is another way in which God protects us. He knows that we can only handle so much at a time, that’s why He doesn’t reveal our future to us. It may be scary at times, may be exciting at times, but either way it saves us countless of hours that we would waste worrying about things to come, things that we have absolutely no control over. Shortly after my surgery my mama made a comment to me about a thought she had when we found out I was sick. She said that she had told herself "if it is Jenna's time to die then I am grateful for the 24 years I had with her…if that has been God’s plan all along." I couldn’t believe she was telling me this. I had never even thought that way. The thought that I might die never even crossed my mind. I wasn’t in denial, I just had a peace that I was going to be ok. Later I was telling this story to some friends at church and I was asked if I ever once felt like I was going to die, or had that fear, while I had cancer, and it felt so good being able to 100% tell them no, I never felt that way. God is so good!