June 26, 2012 - First Visit to UNC

                Today Mama and I left for Chapel Hill because I meet with my surgeon in the morning. From the moment we left the house this whole situation felt more real. I don’t know where I thought I was packing to go, but it didn’t hit me until we headed up I-85 to UNC. At least half of the 4hr trip I was in such a terrible mood and later tonight after supper I had to force myself not to breakdown and cry. We are staying in a big “house” provided by the hospital for patients and their families. As I was bringing in my suitcase tonight I thought about how two weeks ago, just two weeks, I had no idea what my life was about to be like. I could not believe that I was actually here, going through these motions, dealing with cancer. I was actually here at UNC waiting to meet with a surgeon. I don’t think I have been in denial about this, but being here, about to face all of the things that I have been told about, hit me like a ton of bricks.

                God I pray that You will fill me with a peace and strength that only You can provide. I am scared, Lord, but I know that You are with me and You will never leave. Help me to never forget that. Please heal me Jesus. Work a miracle. I put all of my faith and trust in You alone. Help me to feel Your Presence now more than ever. Have Your will be done in my life and bring glory and honor to Your name through me. Thank You Jesus for loving me and saving me and for all that You have done for me.