Today I signed up to go back to school. College round 2. Who
would’ve thought? After I graduated college over a year ago with a Bachelor’s
degree in communications I never thought I would have the desire to go back to
school, but this time I am going with more purpose, determination, and passion
than I ever had in my first four years. I know without a doubt this is God’s
plan for my life and even though I took some time to think and pray about this
decision, I clearly remember several instances of God speaking to me. The first
time I was sitting in the waiting room of the chemo therapy doctor and I was
talking to mama about how all these doctors and nurses at UNC were helping me.
I started crying just talking about it. I knew then that was something I wanted
for my life. I wanted to be able to give to someone else what these doctors and
nurses were giving to me. I wanted a career that really made a difference.
Later that very same day as I was walking through the cancer hospital in Chapel
Hill I saw/met three patients that really got my attention. The first was a
little boy, probably only around 6 years old, who was going into the
radiologist department. He seemed upbeat, like a typical little boy, but I
could tell he was a patient. I remember he was wearing some kind of hat
covering up the fact that he had lost his hair, so he must have been on chemo
as well as radiation. Even though he seemed happy, he broke my heart. I saw
this little boy as I was leaving the radiologist office, after finding out that
I would not need radiation therapy, and it was so upsetting to me that I was
leaving there with good news and he was going in there for treatment. The next
patient I saw was a forty-something year old man named Michael, who I met in
the chemo therapy waiting room. He and I shared our situations, his worse than
mine, and I just felt so sorry for him. He told mama and I how he was getting
ready to start both chemo therapy and radiation and I knew all we could do was
pray for him and pray for the doctors and nurses that were treating him. The third
patient I saw seemed to strike me the most. She was a young girl, probably
close to my age, who I saw in the lobby of the cancer hospital as I was
leaving. I only saw her from a distance but that was enough. She was obviously
going through treatments. She was pale, very thin, and wore a scarf to cover up
her bare head, but I could tell that she was a beautiful girl. She was walking
around so that gave me a sense of hope that she was having a good day and
her energy was up, but she broke my heart. I have no idea of her name, her
story, or her situation but I can’t get her image out of my mind. I felt like she
was me, if my situation had not turned out as well as it had. I felt mixed
emotions, thankful for how the Lord had healed me, but also saddened over what
this girl is going through. No, I do not know her at all, but I can relate to
her. Like myself, she was blindsided by cancer, her life was turned upside
down, I’m sure the, “Why me? I’m so
young,” thought has run through her mind more times than she can count. God
spoke to me through all three of these patients at UNC. He showed me the plan
he has for my life, what I am meant to do. That is why I am now going back to
school to be a nurse. I know without a doubt that I am meant to be a pediatric
oncology nurse and work with other young people who are going through what I
went through and what those three patients went through. Not only will I have
the education to assist my future patients but I will be able to relate to them
and know what they are going through. To me that would be comforting. If having cancer allows me to help others by sharing my story and being able to give them comfort, hope, and encouragement then it was all worth it. I am
really drawn not only to oncology, but to pediatric oncology. Cancer is scary
for all ages, but because of me having cancer at such a young age (and I can’t
imagine having it even younger!), those children/adolescents battling this
disease have such a special place in my heart! I am so excited to see where God is leading me!
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