The past few days have felt so NORMAL and that has been the best feeling! However, the first several days of my second round of chemo were pretty uncomfortable. I had no appetite whatsoever, which made me feel a bit queasy and my head was very sore due to my hair loss. There were a couple times when grouchiness would creep up and take over..."I'm sick of not being hungry. I'm sick of hair being all over my sheets. I'm sick of my head being sore. I'm sick of feeling sick." Thankfully that only happened a couple times and then I would kick myself back into gear, remind myself that my side effects are not that bad at all, and be thankful that I am able to handle this chemo treatment, which I'm praying the Lord is using to rid me of my cancer. I have too much to be thankful for to allow these little things to bring me down! Anyways, as of a few days ago my energy level and appetite finally started to pick up! Also, duing this time my dad was out here visiting us for the week, so once I was finally able to get out of the bed the six of us were able to spend some time together. We did the most normal, simple things like have supper together, go to my younger brother's baseball game, and sit outside with our neighbors. It made things feel normal again, like we all still lived in the same state, or that we had all just moved to Texas, and that we weren't here because I was sick. It was also a nice change of pace to occupy our time by doing everyday things that we used to do back home rather than spending our time in a doctor's office!
My family and I have a joke going about how spoiled I am getting because they have to help me with so many things these days. Yes, some things I need assistance with, but other things my family simply does for me because they want to or I ask. My family has always been extremely close, but this experience has made me more thankful for them than ever before. Every time my mama helps me take a bath because we have to avoid getting my port and chemo pump wet I am just so grateful for our close relationship. I don't know what I would do without her. I think the same thing every time she wakes me up in the middle of the night to give me my nausea or pain medicine, when I'm feeling weak and she brings me whatever I can eat in my bed, and when the chemo dries my skin out and she puts cream on my arms and legs before bed. She treats me like her baby and I am just so thankful that the Lord blessed me with her as my mama. The rest of my family cares for me just the same! While my daddy was here this week he made me breakfast in bed whenever I wanted, just hoping that I would get some food in my system. He would also check on me anytime of day or night to see if there was anything he could get for me or if I was comfortable enough. Whenever I am too weak or sick to get out of the bed my two sisters take turns laying with me. If I'm sleeping they don't bother me, they just lay beside me. If I'm awake they talk to me about anything other than bing sick and they are the two best people in the world to get me laughing. Being out here in Texas, away from the rest of our family and friends, has made my two sisters and me even closer than we were before. Then there's my baby brother. Well he's not so much of a baby anymore. Every time he walks past me he is either checking on me or telling me he loves me. He has the biggest heart. Even though he's getting older he still always let's me hug and kiss him like he did when he was a baby. He better never outgrow that! Most of all, he always prays for me. My family does a Bible study together every night before bed and at the end someone will pray and thank God for all He's done for us that day, all He's given us, pray for anything I'm going through, and of course pray for my healing. My brother volunteers to pray a lot and it melts my heart and makes me so proud of him! I am so thankful that I am a part of such a loving, Christian family who chose to turn to the Lord during this trial rather than turn way from Him.
"Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love Him." - James 1:12
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