Yep, I'm blogging from the infusion room as I get my chemo therapy today for the first time! I'm going to be sitting here for about seven hours today so I figured "Why not?" Seven hours! Good thing I only have to do this once every three weeks. Otherwise I would go stir crazy! Once again the Lord has given me such peace and comfort. I am feeling so positive and upbeat right now. I'm just laying back with a pillow and blanket, watching TV, sipping on apple juice, and talking to Mama. I even had a good nights sleep last night, which I was worried about. Everyone's prayers for me are working. I can feel them and today is proof! My first day of chemo therapy is nothing like I thought it would be. I never expected to feel this calm, but I should've known that the Lord would allow me to feel His Presence in an extra special way today, a reminder that I am not alone. He is not only my Healer but my Comforter!
This time yesterday was a different story. I was at the main hospital in Houston getting my picc line put in. I slept awful the night before because I was feeling so anxious. I knew that somehow the thin catheter had to run under my skin all the way from my arm to my chest and that I would be awake as they inserted this, but I didn't know how this procedure would be done nor did I want to find out. Of course I was anxious! After we arrived at the hospital the nurse had another patient and myself go into a classroom and watch a video about the picc line procedure. This tore my nerves up! I immediately started tearing up. If it hadn't been for the other patient in the room I probably would've completely lost it. I just knew he was going to have to go through the very same thing and I didn't want to make it any worse for him. I pulled myself together and barely paid any attention to the video. Why were they making me watch this? This isn't a Do-It-Yourself procedure so why do I need to see how this is done! I'm one of those people that if it has to be done then don't tell me about it, just do it and I won't watch. So needless to say, after the video I was more shook up about the picc line than I ever was before. After I was taken back to the procedure room the nurse who would be taking care of me was so precious and she made this procedure seem much less extreme. After talking with her I even decided against the "happy juice" to relax me or even make me sleep during the procedure. She said she would numb my arm, of course, and that was good enough for me. Sure enough, after the shot I barely felt a thing. I, well mostly that video which was completely uncalled for, had me all worked up for nothing!
"For I am the Lord, your healer." -Exodus 15:26
"Yet I am always with You; You hold me by my right hand." Psalm 73:23
"You walk beside me giving strength I've never known. I am not alone." - I Am Not Alone by Natalie Grant
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