The past week has been rough!! I had no clue this IVF process would take such a toll on my body. The side effects really started kicking in around last Monday, 6 days after beginning the shots, and they continued to get worse as the week went on. My stomach felt very swollen, so much that I was very uncomfortable. I looked like I had a little baby bump, but really I was just swollen from things inside me, like my ovaries, being enlarged. How crazy is that! I was also feeling really nauseous and my hormones were all out of wack. Much like a typical pregnant woman. This whole process was mind blowing to me, how your body thinks you're pregnant and reacts in that manner. Crazy! I was going every two days for ultrasounds and bloodwork to keep an eye on my progress, and I actually ended up progressing very quickly and having the procedure to remove my eggs two days ahead of schedule. That was such a relief to me because it meant no more shots and two days closer to feeling more normal. I had the procedure early Friday morning, but unfortunately, my doctor said it would be a couple more weeks before I felt better. The nurse said it takes a little time for your body to realize that you're not really pregnant and for everything to start recovering. Greeaaat! Just what I need when I'm scheduled to start chemo on Thursday! This experience has been tough, but don't get me wrong, I still know that I made the right decision by having this procedure! Anyways, since Friday I have been feeling much worse than I did before the procedure. The swelling has increased and I feel so "puffy" that at times I even feel short of breath. The anesthesia they used caused me to have awful headaches almost constantly Friday through early this morning, and the nausea has also increased. I have slept more in the past three days than I have been awake, because the medicine they put me on completely knocked me off my feet and put me in zombie mode. This morning I woke up not feeling too well, but the headache had lightened, so I decided against the nausea and headache meds. I like to think I have a pretty high pain tolerance, so I would rather deal with a little pain today and at least feel like I'm back in the world! During those rough few days my dad and my nana flew out here to visit us. I had been looking forward to that for weeks, so I'm disappointed that I didn't get to enjoy our time more...or really even be awake more! Even though next time they visit I will be going though chemo therapy, I hope and pray that I am well enough to spend more time with them! Even though I know this is where I need to be, it's still so hard being this far from home.
As I'm starting to feel better this afternoon, and I'm actually awake, that means I'm thinking about what the next few days hold. On Wednesday morning I go to Houston to have my port put in and on Thursday I go to my doctor, here in Katy, for my first day of chemo therapy. I am trying so hard to take it one day at a time, but that's easier said than done. I hate dreading something. I think I would rather just be surprised...just walk into the doctor's office on Thursday and him tell me that today's the day. Then I would have no time to worry, no time to stress, etc. I would just do as he says and go through the motions. I'm learning that is what I prefer, otherwise I stress myself out! However, since I do know what's coming in the next couple of days, I'm trying to look at the positives. The sooner I start chemo, the sooner it will be over! So on Thursday the countdown begins!! I'm not going to view it as my first day of chemo but as the first day of my countdown. That sounds much more optimistic! I know this is going to be tough, but I also know that I can do it! The Lord will give me strength and He will fight for me!
"Do not be afraid or discouraged...For the battle is not yours, but God's." -2 Chronicles 20:15
"Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." -1 Peter 5:7
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