Overwhelmed

1/28/13

      My life has felt so unreal the past couple of days. My emotions are running haywire and I am trying so hard to stay strong. There are moments when I am alright, usually if I am doing something to take my mind off things. Then there are other times when I think to myself, "Is this really my life?"   I can't help but think this is nothing like I imagined my life would be like at 25 years old. I never thought I would have to face any of this so young...having cancer, not once but twice, and now having to move hundreds of miles away from my family and friends and the only place I've ever lived to start radiation and chemo therapy. Overwhelmed is the only way to describe how I feel sometimes. I still do not doubt the Lord's power to heal me, give me His strength to get through this trial, or pour out His peace and comfort upon me, but dealing with so much change is extremely overwhelming. I can't even imagine how difficult this would be if my family and I didn't have our faith and the Lord walking with us each and every step of the way!
      Yesterday and today I had to pack up the majority of my life and say my "see you laters" which tore my heart out! I cried even more than I had expected. I was homesick before I even left. After bawling my eyes out telling Nana goodbye and still crying as we pulled out of our driveway I looked down to Papa Stott's old store building and there stood more family and friends than I could count. They were waving and holding purple balloons and more balloons were tied to the fence posts. We stopped our car at the stop sign across the road and I waved and told them all I loved them. Of course this caused the tears to flow even more! This time it was both happy and sad tears. Happy to have such loving, caring people in my life, but sad to be leaving them behind. Even though these are difficult circumstances, this was one of the most precious moments of my life and something I will never forget! I am one blessed girl!